WendyDawn's Xanga

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

Tue, 12 Sep 2006 17:39:49 GMT

Laugh As The Sun

I get so nervous when the spirits hide
I can’t wait until that bright light shines, yeah
Never did run, never did hide,
Waitin’ to see your bright light shine.
We’ll wait ‘til the mornin’ comes,
We’ll laugh as the sun.
Bright and loud, ha, ha, ha!

Yes we’ll laugh as the sun,
Laugh as the sun,
And we’re gonna laugh as the sun,
Laugh as the sun

- "Laugh As The Sun", Rusted Root

Yay! Finally, I have a plan! I have been offered a job as Development Assistant at Sea Shepherd! Everything worked out perfectly, and now it seemed perfectly ridiculous that I would have worried at all. Who, me? Worry? Nooo….never.

The interview was awesome, beginning with a beautiful flight where the only thing visible above the clouds was the always stunning Olympic Mountains. Friday Harbor was gray, foggy, and a bit chilly when I arrived, but it quickly burned off and turned into a perfect blue sky. My new boss, Michael, picked me up in a dusty Astrovan that he explained is the company van used to haul around the nine dogs that come to the office with their owners every day. Nine dogs?? Awesome! Make that ten, I told him.

The offices are located on eight wooded acres that are fenced in. We drove in and were instantly surrounded by a mob of dogs – small dogs, humongous dogs, deaf dogs, old dogs. Luckily, as I had treats in my hand, they were all also very friendly dogs. After a quick tour of the property, which also includes the founder’s home, office, and a trailer used for new staff members to stay in while looking for housing, we went to the main offices. Inside about six staff members are working, laughing, eating Boca burgers, and fighting to save marine wildlife. Hot damn! I just stumbled upon my own little slice of heaven.

The interview itself was very informal, mostly just chatting with Michael and learning more about Sea Shepherd. They need someone who likes to do graphic design to work on their newsletter, and I happily volunteered myself for that job. Mostly I will be assisting Michael, the Development Director, in the various fundraising tasks such as researching donors, looking for grants, organizing events, and sending thank you cards. There is also the possibility of going on an expedition with one of the Sea Shepherd vessels. They travel to places like the Artic, the Galapagos Islands, and Australia in order to get in between and disrupt illegal whaling, sealing, or fishing. This is where my photography skills could possibly be used. Awesome!

The job pays about $30,000 per year, which is awesome. It also has medical and dental benefits, which is very awesome. It is my dream job! Yay!

So, in the midst of organizing Raise the Roof (which is on Friday), now I am thinking about wrapping up all of the projects I have been working on over the past two years during the week after this one. Not to mention that I totally spaced the quarterly newsletter and it will now be published a few weeks late – assuming I can get it done next week. Am I worried? Hell no. It will all work out.

I’m starting to look at housing in Friday Harbor. It’s relatively expensive, but I’m sticking to the lower end of things and hopefully I can find something decent. Am I worried? Hell no! It will all work out, and I will be laughing as the sun all the way to my island paradise.

Laugh as the sun,

Bright and loud, ha, ha, ha!

Monday, September 04, 2006

Mon, 04 Sep 2006 23:40:34 GMT

Blowin In The Wind...

Labor Day Weekend In Bremerton - September 2006

That's the story of my life right now. Life in poverty takes you wherever the wind may blow. Free entertainment? I'm there. Take me out to dinner? You got it! Nothing to do? Take a walk! New job opportunity? Schedule an interview!

By far the best part of my Labor Day weekend was seeing my dad get married to his girlfriend of four years, Cindy. In an ultra-casual ceremony (see outfits at right) the two got married by Cindy's oldest daughter Rebecca at the very place they met, the high school cafeteria, exactly four years before. How cute is that? To make it even sweeter both of them wrote their own vows. It was perfect. And to make things even better, I now have two younger brothers and a younger sister. Okay, I guess they are technically "step" siblings, but that sounds crappy and I'm not one for technicalities anyways. I have always wanted to be a big sister, I told them each that they can come to me to get out of trouble one time, and one time only. Yay!

On Saturday I took my new sister Rebecca's senior pictures. Once again, I'm surprised and thrilled about the results. Once again, I wonder why I don't get off my butt and start advertising portrait services and make some money. There is an opportunity to photograph an upcoming wedding that I am hesitant to take. Weddings...so much pressure. It's a once in a lifetime event, and I just don't think I have the equipment to properly capture the moment. Plus, people pay a lot and they expect some quality shots. I need a fill flash!

In other weekend news, I walked Kaya to the Blackberry Festival. She almost didn't make it, the heat zapped her and she laid down three-fourths of the way there and refused to get up. Luckily after much rest and cajoling she walked the last few blocks, because once we got there water for dogs was abundant. She loved getting adored by *literally* hundreds of people, and walked through packed crowds very well. I ran into a zillion neighbors, some friends, and my dad and Cindy, who kindly bought me a fruit smoothie from Coldstone Creamery. Yay for small town festivals!

The job hunt is as frustrating, exciting, nerve racking, and stressful as ever. While waiting to hear back from the job at Pratt Fine Arts Center in Seattle, I scheduled an interview with the Sea Shepherd Conservation Society. The organization is located in Friday Harbor on the San Juan Islands! A job in a town that is a vacation destination? Hippies, orcas, and hiking, oh my!! Yes, this job sounds like a dream come true, so I quickly scheduled an interview in Seattle. A few hours later I recieved a call asking if I would like to fly to Friday Harbor for the interview instead. Would I like to take a free ride in a sea plane to an interview with an environmental/animal rights direct action organization?? Hell yes!!! Doing a happy dance won't even cut it. I'm having a happy seizure right now. Meanwhile, Habitat waits for a reply from their job offer. I'm under a little pressure here people!!

Regardless, my happy ass is flying to the San Juan Islands on Friday, and I'm thrilled. What isn't thrilling is the backlog at work that has resulted from two things: 1, my terrible procrastination and 2, taking so many days off for interviews and doggy medical care. Raise the Roof, a dinner and auction with about 250 attendees is next Friday and the pressure to finish up the auction, track down RSVP lists, organize volunteers, direct the caterer, and make sure I have rented 300 black linen napkins is enough to make my head spin. Add to that some very large grant applications that I, of course, waited until the last minute to start and then it becomes understandable why I am here, at work, on Labor Day.

Add to all of this questions regarding living situations, budgets, relationships crises, extreme poverty, where to find some cheap toilet paper, and what the heck to make for dinner, and Wendy needs some serious sleep. Instead I think I am going to go splurge on a new edition of Bust magazine, go home, and cuddle with my puppy. And perhaps continue with the happy dances.

One last note: rediscovering music from a time in your past can be so amazing. I recently remembered that in college I loved Rusted Root, so I tracked down some of their albums to listen to. Hot damn! My poor neighbors, the windows are rattling and the dog is hiding behind the chair, but I don't care. It's awesome music!

Friday, September 01, 2006

Fri, 01 Sep 2006 00:31:05 GMT

Looking Way Up To The Sky

Memories Of An Uncertain Future - Yuri Martinez

I don’t feel the suns comin out today
Its staying in, its gonna find another way.
As I sit here in this misery, I don’t
Think Ill ever see the sun from here.
And oh as I fade away,
They’ll all look at me and say, and they’ll say,
Hey look at him! Ill never live that way.
But that’s okay
They’re just afraid to change.
When you feel your life aint worth living
You’ve got to stand up and
Take a look around you then a look way up to the sky.
And when your deepest thoughts are broken,
Keep on dreaming boy, cause when you stop dreamin its time to die.
And as we all play parts of tomorrow,
Some ways will work and other ways well play.
But I know we all cant stay here forever,
So I want to write my words on the face of today.
And then they’ll paint it
And oh as I fade away,
They’ll all look at me and they’ll say,
Hey look at him and where he is these days.
When life is hard, you have to change.

- Blind Melon

I have the distinct feeling that everything in my life is up in the air right now. I cant even begin to put into words everything that has happened, could happen, should happen, or that I want to happen.

I don't think I will even try right now.

Monday, August 14, 2006

Mon, 14 Aug 2006 21:47:08 GMT

Trying To Live In The Present Tense

"Abstracted Consciousness" by Roswita Szyszka

Good Things This Week:

My dad and his girlfriend make the best blackberry cobbler in the world – this morning I was lucky enough to have a freshly baked batch brought to my doorstep. Hello breakfast!
I have a job interview in Seattle on Wednesday at the Pratt Center for Fine Arts. In the perfect world, they will hire me on the spot. Keep your fingers crossed.
Kaya’s skin situation is improving quickly. Yay for the new vet!
Perfect weather – it’s sunny and clear but not too hot.
I got a ton of housework done this weekend, including mopping the floors.
I’m doing much better at my goal of being more social, I went out to a bar this weekend with friends, actually danced (on the dance floor, not the bar, teehee!), drank too much, and passed out on a friends couch.
Used a gift certificate to get a really cute new shirt at Old Navy.

Bad Things This Week:

Chris was unable to come home last week, and I miss him incredibly bad but he is making some awesome progress at his new job. He’s a damn hard worker and he makes me so proud. J
This weekend I missed the entry date for the Kitsap County fair, making it official that another year has passed and I have not accomplished this goal. At least I’m getting started on next year’s resolution list early.
Good old procrastination is just about to rear up and bite me on the ass. Raise the Roof event is in one month and one day. Must get crackin!
Kaya is possibly showing symptoms of a new and different health problem. I fear that even mentioning it will make it worse. Stay positive, little doggie, stay positive.

Well hot damn, look at that, there is more good than bad this week. I have become mildly obsessed (who, me??) with searching the internet for new jobs and new apartments/houses. In many ways I feel like I have mentally moved on from my current job, and I’m just here going through the motions every day. It’s a conscious struggle to not let myself get consumed by this feeling, and unfortunately I know that I am failing the struggle.

Having made the decision to leave Americorps early (if and when it is possible to do so), I feel much better and more assured of the future. Now if I can just get through waiting for the future to hurry up and arrive.

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

Tue, 08 Aug 2006 22:47:26 GMT

You Gotta Know When To Hold Them....

Good things this week:

Chris is coming home soon!
Phone interview with the job at the ACLU in San Francisco went very well. Keeping my fingers crossed for a second interview…
Set up an interview at the Pratt Center for Fine Arts in Seattle next week, looks like a great job and it sounds like a fun place to work!
My dad and his girlfriend swooped in to save the day this weekend, plus they even gave Kaya a bag of rawhide bones. We’re both very happy. J
Had Thai food with my momma at the new restaurant downtown, yay for supporting new local businesses!
Just turned in a grant application for $200,000 - one month early. Woohooo!

Bad things this week:

Kaya’s skin situation was getting better, but I think it’s started to spread and get worse. She has another vet appointment on Thursday, this time with a new veterinarian.
My motivation level at work is close to zero. I’m maintaining and getting the basic work done, but I’m certainly not putting any effort or thought into it.
Had a near financial disaster this weekend, but I managed to keep my head on straight, and rather than crying and freaking out I calmly called on my friends and family and they helped me through. (Thanks again Dad!)
Self-discipline in terms of nutrition, finances, drinking, and nearly all other activities has hit an all-time low. If it wasn’t for the fact that I have to walk the dog at least twice a day I would have absolutely no discipline or structure in my life.

Well, it’s a mix of good and bad this week. I think number four on the list of bad things just about sums it up: something has happened to my self-discipline lately. This sucks because I have spent myself into a hole, let my car nearly run out of gas, and was forced to ask my dad for help. On the other hand, it doesn’t suck because I had fun spending it. Sometimes creature comforts are all you can count on to get you through the day, and so if I spend a few bucks on candy, I’ll just chalk it up to maintaining my mental health. (Plus it’s not like there wasn’t some medical bills, vet bills, groceries, and other necessary costs also.) I do promise, however, to do everything in my power to not let that happen again.

Thinking Too Much - August 2006

And all of this comes at an interesting time, considering that I am in such a quandary about my current job situation. In fact, this pretty much solves the problem all together. I do not believe that I can continue to live at this wage, so it is confirmed, I will put in my two weeks notice as soon as I get a new job.

Goodbye five thousand dollar educational award. It would have been nice to know you! Hello big paycheck, I cannot wait to meet you!

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

Wed, 02 Aug 2006 21:47:29 GMT

Be Sure To Wear Some Flowers In Your Hair

It's Loud, It's Ugly, It's My New Skirt! - August 2006

Yes! This morning I scheduled a telephone interview with the ACLU in San Francisco! Woohoooooo! Although the ACLU occasionally has questionable opinions on things, overall they play a necessary role in reminding us about and defending our civil rights. Plus, San Francisco is only like, my dream city. Perhaps I have romanticized it a bit, and reading about the exploits of superheroes doesn't help my imagination at all, but it seems like a great place to live. Other than, of course, the insane rental rates.

Yesterday I had an interview in Seattle at the Alzheimer's Association of Washington. On the way over there I had this great feeling that "this job is the one", and as I rode the bus there I looked at everything with the lens of "Could I live here? Will this be my neighborhood? Will I shop there?". Overall the interview went well, and I was asked to come back on Monday for a second meeting. After an hour and a half (longest interview ever!) I walked out of the building with a sinking feeling in my stomach. Dang it! Why isn't this the one?

Well, the time frame is one problem, they need someone to start this month. The pay is a bit lower than what I was hoping, and there is no paid vacation the first year. The mission isn't exactly glamorous, and in some ways I would like to work with a younger, funner, hipper organization. The woman who interviewed me, my potential boss, seemed pretty nice, but she did at one point start telling me that the person leaving is going to live with her boyfriend, and how unfortunate that was because they only met a short time ago. Gossiping about coworkers? That's a real bad sign. Overall it's just not "the one".

My whole perspective on this job search situation is very negative. I know I should focus on the fact that I am getting call backs, interviews, and second interviews. Things are going very well. But I can't help looking at it from the perspective of choices - which choice should I make, which is the best? Did I already pass by the right choice?

To add to my confusion, my poor puppy had a terrible reaction to flea drops. It actually burned her skin, then got infected to boot! She is on a strict medicine regimine, taking pills twice a day and topical medicine three times a day. To top it all off the darn flea medicine didn't even work, so I had to have that battle all over again too.

Don't get me wrong -I am glad she is getting better, but the puppy darn near cost me my entire pay check, and then like a fool I went to Value Village for some new clothes (see funky skirt above). Now it's a week until my next pay day, the gas light is on in my car, and I have less than five dollars in my bank account. Luckily I have a stockpile of nonperishable food in my cabinets, so I'll just be chillin at home, eating rice and walking to work for awhile. Now let's just hope the dog doesn't have any more medical costs in the next week....

The whole situation only reminds me how little money I am making in the Americorps program, and how ridiculous it is to live off this pittance when I could go out and get a decent job. In fact, I am turning down decent jobs left and right! I want to stay at least until the big auction on September 15, but it's getting harder and harder.

So yesterday I decided I want to quit my job as soon as possible. Yikes.

The afternoon has arrived without my motivation in tow.

It's now well past three o'clock, and I have accomplished next to nothing today. I need to meet with my boss before I can move forward on this grant application I'm working on, but she is MIA. Frankly I just don't want to get started on another project until I get this one done. So much for my multi-tasking abilities.

I coasted home on the fumes of gas left in my car, and during my lunch break I got some good advice from Ziggy:

Take a look into the sky
'Cause the world is not so pretty
Free myself from worries
So I can see
It's just a beautiful day
It's just a beautiful day

You could be sad
But I rather you not be
Don't dwell on the negative
Just the positivity
And it's a beautiful day
It's just a beautiful day

We're always trying to satisfy these wants and needs
Take you some time for that inner peace
When your eyes are open
You'll see things differently
There's so much gloom
Hiding the reality
It's just a beautiful day
Yeah, It's just a beautiful day

How is it that Ziggy rocks so much? He has such down to earth, good hearted, positive, herb friendly music. Who got the power to move ya? Ziggy!

Anyhow, after taking Kaya on a walk around the park, I hoofed it up the hill to work. Hot damn, I never realized what an uphill trek it is! At least walking home will be quicker, easier, and hopefully less sweaty. Of course, then I get to go walk the dog again. I swear I must put in at least three miles per day, now that I'm walking to work, it'll be more like five or six miles per day. Too bad I don't have any sneakers...

Academic Reflection Regarding Living In Poverty: Living in poverty sucks ass. You can never get ahead, you only slip further and further behind. Take, for example, my shoe situation. I need some good walking shoes, as many of my other shoes have bit the dust over the past two years. Between all of the necessary costs of life (bills, food, doggy medical care) and the minor rewards I allow myself (soda, candy, herb), there is nothing left over for decent shoes. Instead I truck all over town in my old crappy sandals, causing all kinds of foot pain. Spend a lifetime trucking around in Payless shoes and you will end up with a serious foot injury. Then who pays the podiatrist bills? If you could afford to pay a podiatrist you would have just gotten some decent shoes in the first freaking place. It's a viscious cycle.

I can't stop thinking about quitting my job, which is a really bad thing. Hopefully this "I must quit right now" feeling goes away soon, or else who knows, I just might do it.

Blah blah blah, I realize this is a random, rambling post. But hey, it's my journal, and I'm just a random, rambling chick.

Did you say your name was Ramblin Rose?

Ramble on baby, settle down easy

Ramble on Rose

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

Wed, 26 Jul 2006 18:21:57 GMT

Do You See What I See?

Stoned Tree! - July 2006

Alert: You must check out this amazing art - it is beautiful yet quietly disturbing.

Three posts in three days - it's a procrasta-thon! I was reading a lovely blog post about how delicious one normal little day can be, when I realized I had one of those days yesterday. After work I ran some errands then went to a salsa concert in the park. Met with friends, sat in the grass, watched my neighbors dance, and let a stream of kids pet Kaya. Later as I was walking home I ran into an friend I've known since high school and after driving around town picking up some more friends we went back to my place and sat on the front porch smoking a joint. As I sat on the steps I looked around and realized that minus the absense of my lovely boyfriend, it was an excellent summer evening.

Later that night as I was making a pathetic attempt at going to sleep, I was mulling over my job situation. I like to try to boil things down to the most basic elements of a problem, I think it helps me to see what exactly I am struggling with. I thought perhaps this whole struggle can be boiled down to this: do I want to stay in Bremerton or do I want to leave Bremerton?

Ten years ago this would have been an amazingly hilarious question. I was dead set on getting out of this place. Some of that was derived from pure teenage angst and a desire to have angst over something. But as far as I could tell, in those days the town really did suck. Also, I have always considered myself an explorer and adventurer - it came as no suprise the first time I looked up my name in a baby book and learned that it means, "wanderer". When I was a little kid I loved family roadtrips; sitting for ten hours and watching the scenery go by fascinated me. To this day I love to imagine what it's like to live inside each little farmhouse, suburban neighborhood, and big city apartment that I lay my eyes on.

These days Bremerton is full of art galleries, community festivals, small businesses, people who name their children Cedar and Sequoia, peace signs in windows, and other great community attractions. It is also graced with cheap rent and amazing weather. To top it all off, it's extremely close to both metropolitan Seattle and untouched old growth forests. I absolutely love my house, landlord, neighbors and neighborhood - and it's getting better every day. Sound like utopia?

But no matter how good life may be right now, there is no turning off the drive to go explore a new town, new neighborhood, and new way of life. There are potential drawbacks - the recent heat wave reminds me how much I hate humidity and temperatures over ninety degrees. It's not the potential drawbacks that worry me the most, though. It's the potential feeling that I missed the boat, that I didn't live life to the fullest, or didn't grow to my full potential.

How do you know which boat to get on? There are too many! I feel like a little kid after the first day of school. Which big yellow bus is mine? Which one will take me where I need to go?

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Tue, 25 Jul 2006 21:36:40 GMT

Waited for the rain and the rain it finally came

Dark clouds coming, honey we go to the sea
Dark clouds coming, honey we go to the sea
Dark clouds coming, honey we go to the sea
Slip out the back door and leave our cars
Leave everybody inside wondering where we are
Pull you in close, lay you naked down on your back
Pull you in close, lay you naked down on your back
Pull you in close, lay you naked down on your back
Oh, life has been good to me
Turn a little phrase and give you my sympathy
Waited for the rain and the rain it finally came
Waited for the rain and the rain it finally came
We waited for the rain and the rain it finally came
And came, and came oh yes
Like compliments to a brand new summer dress

- "Summer Dress" Mason Jennings

If you are poor and in need of some superficial satisfaction I suggest digging into the back of your closet. I am terrible at buying clothes and then never wearing them! Monday morning the extreme heat drove me to search through my closet for a long, flowing dress that I could wear to work. I found this beautiful Betsey Johnson dress gathering dust in my closet. I scored this dress two years ago when I worked at Value Village. I haven’t worn it once since then! How could I have neglected it for so long? I rocked it on Monday; it was the perfect long, flowing summer dress.

Last night I started putting ideas down on paper for my life-long dream of starting a zine, and I came to realize something very disturbing to me. Although, now that I am sitting here in front of the computer and thinking about it, I have a whole new perspective. Anyways, as I was saying, last night I realized that I have a pretty big fear that if I were to create a zine it would be mocked or ridiculed. It would, of course, mostly be about things I am interested in – which can range wildly from serious political issues to rather superficial subjects in a matter of minutes.

Why do I harbor tiny little memories in my brain and let them influence my behavior for years to come? I once created a poster looking for the perfect roommate and hung it up in the library at college. A week or so later I was walking by and noticed that someone had scribbled something along the lines of, “Like, awesome, for sure!” on it, basically insinuating that my poster sucked and I’m some kind of preppy valley girl.

Although, now that I am sitting here typing this I see how this stupid little thing is connected to that stupid little thing, and it all adds up to the same big thing I promised myself one month ago – I don’t care what other people think! So I may be interested in craft projects, wearing aprons, sustainable community supported agriculture, fighting the evil Bush, hiking, and cake. If other people think that sucks, I frankly don’t give a shit.

Of course, that is not to say that the only thing stopping me from creating a zine is this stupid memory from years ago. There is also time, money, technology issues, and straight up laziness. All of which I will conquer soon!

I noticed that it has been just over one year since I started this blog. This is by far the most successful journal I have ever kept. Hooray!

The job search continues with telephone interviews last Friday and Monday, and another scheduled for this Thursday. I feel so conflicted in so many ways; I can’t even begin to put it all down on paper. Current strategy: ignore, procrastinate, and avoid. Doh!

Last Comic Standing is on tonight! Everybody cheer for Josh, the funniest guy on the show by far! I always figured that if I saw someone I know on reality TV that they would be making a fool of themselves in some way, not mopping up the competition. Go Josh!

I believe I’m out of random ramblings for this afternoon. No more procrastinating work...

Monday, July 24, 2006

Mon, 24 Jul 2006 16:30:25 GMT

A Weekend In Rome...

It's been so hot in the Northwest, even the fungus is sweating.

I live in a somewhat ghettofied neighborhood in a downtown district of town, and this being the weekend before payday, my bank account is severly lacking right now. Since my gas tank is on E, my weekend was limited to my immediate surrounding neighborhood. And what do poor people do when it's hot and they're bored? Yes, that's right - they drink! So I decided, when in Rome, do as the Romans. There was a punk show at a burrito shop downtown, which was free since almost everyone had to stand on the sidewalk. Buying some warm Pabst Blue Ribbon from the burrito shop involved sliding through a sweaty crowd of Bremertonians, so I ventured next door and found some amazingly cheap drinks - $3 for a rum and coke that cost me $6 last week in Seattle! Also, the bartender charged all but one of my drinks to this guy that my coworker was flirting with, thus I managed to get rather drunk for a mere $5 (gotta tip the girl!). Sweet!

It was way too hot to do much of anything this weekend, however I did get a book called "Best Hikes With Dogs in Western Washington". Rather than actually hiking with my dog, I lolled around on the couch - while Kaya lay spread eagle in front of the fan all day - reading about hiking with dogs. I realized I desperately need a doggy first aid kit, and I also learned that Kaya shouldn't wear a backpack until she's over one year old. Until then I'm stuck packing all her food around.

In the meantime, here are some pictures from recent adventures on the Skokomish River with Kaya, Simone, and Balloo.

Monday, July 17, 2006

Mon, 17 Jul 2006 15:41:57 GMT

Search & Anticlimactic Indecision

How could a person who is looking for a dream job have turned down four awesome jobs and/or job interviews, all doing exactly what she wants to do that pay above $30,000 per year with benefits at awesome nonprofit organizations in big exciting cities like Seattle and Baltimore? Could this person be rightfully called insane?

I have a contract with Americorps to stay until November 15. I’ve gotten calls, interviews, and practical job offers – all with the stipulation that I can start soon. Very soon. Now. Pronto! I was feeling pretty good last week, but this morning my phone rang just as I was walking into work, and after straight up turning down another job interview in Seattle my stomach started to turn in knots.

“Am I doing the right thing?” Running through my head constantly, distracting me from any actual work.

Most of these jobs seem to have a big event coming up in the next few months, and they need someone to start now to handle that event. I worry that in November there won’t be this huge pool of awesome jobs available. Will I have to wait until next summer? What will I do until then?

Ack!

This post makes it sound like I had a crappy weekend, which is totally untrue; however I don’t have time to write more because I must get to work. Happier post with pics to follow soon….